I'm going to share a collection of observations that I have accumulated over a long period of time of observing patterns and experiencing phenomena, piecing together what I have gathered.
For so very long, I’ve had the urge to share my experiences, when I was in the thick of it, there was no explanation! I was drugged out, crazy, no one listened, I was so alone! And I had walked away from Yahuah or so I thought! Since I’ve come back into His arms, it’s been speechless at times, supernatural at best, now I’m peaceful, still overly thinking, but peaceful, still very self critical, but for the most part still peaceful! Lately it’s the unbearable exhaustion, and mostly minor annoyances, a lot of frustration nation, but one realization I did just recently have was even if I was disobedient due to external influences before; I know now it’s because of my flesh, myself and my own flaws, fears and pressure! I get sick to my stomach if I try to casually step out on my own will in accordance to what I believe is His gentle persistence, it’s funny how I have no problem standing up or standing out when circumstances call for me to act! But when I think im ready to act on His prompting, I freeze and I am unable to move, I’m terrified, frozen or confused, concerned about something else, broken to pieces, I put myself back on the shelf! Dining with doubt, afraid to speak out… I need to reconnect to His will, His Ruach, give myself space… deeply reflect… find my way to pull thru, take that first baby step!!! Thank you for your courage!
thank you for sharing, i actually relate to all of this. one thing i've learned over a long period of trial and error is that "walking in the flesh" is not just our sinning. walking in the flesh is looking to the flesh for confirmation of whether or not you are saved, which leads to dead works of the flesh to try to reconcile yourself based on a false premise. i struggle with alot of things in my day-to-day walk, but none of those things have ever separated God from me, nor have they caused Him to stop fellowshipping with me. why is that? it's because I refuse to shrink back in condemnation. I sort of have learned to break it down into kind of like a very simple formula of where the separation comes from. it's really just this simple...
Condemnation is a lie - belief in that lie leads to shrinking back - shrinking back creates an artificial separation between you and God that was never there in the first place. its belief in the lie that creates the feeling of separation, just as Adam hid from God in the garden out of fear. the only reason that separation occurs is because of doubt, and walking in the flesh (looking to the flesh rather than His Spirit/Finished Works) -
its really hard to figure this out in this world, and it took me a long time of going in and out of religious programming and religious performance until finally i just couldnt do it anymore, when i reached and end of myself, when i had nothing left to provide, that's when God finally revealed this to me, and once I learned it I can look back to all of the many times where God has confirmed this to me in the past.
So just know, He never breaks fellowship with you, that's a religious lie that is unbiblical.
2 Timothy 2:13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.
It's always always always been about what He has done for us, how amazing He is...
it's not about what we are doing, it's about humility and knowing that He is who He says He is, it's about knowing that He has your back no matter how great or terrible your performance is... People always will want to act like this is a license to sin, but its blasphemy to call God's mercy and grace a licence to sin, all of us inherited sin from Adam, from the knowledge of good and evil, its hardwired into our flesh and our minds. We required a savior to reconcile us to God, because that hardwired corruption made us think God was mad at us and made man scared of God (which is why Adam hid from God) -
Metanoia is true biblical repentance, it means to change your mind (agree w/ God's testimony that you inherited sin from Adam and need a savior, and believing in Yahusha/Christ and His sacrifice/finished works to save us) once you Metanoia you receive the Ruach. We grieve the spirit by questioning if what He did was enough, which leads to dead works. But I have learned that true Spiritual Works only come from a place of rest, because the Spirit is what yields the fruit, it's not of our doing...
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
you've been sealed unto the day of redemption, Tetelestai it is finished.
the rest is relative. organized religion has done it's best to ruin such a perfect and simple truth and put believers into fear and religious bondage, and it sadly worked, because the religiously programmed will go off and start entire movements.
Matthew 23:15. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
So just do your best to rest in Him in confidence, religion has really messed up this simple truth, but even the bible points this out.
2 Corinthians 11:3
But I fear lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
I'm exhausted too, lately I have been quite carnal, but especially if you are TI you have to realize these are not ordinary circumstances we are in, this is covert mk ultra 2.0, cointelpro, zersetzung, and satanic ritual abuse mixed into one, so go easy on yourself,
God's got you no matter what your life looks like, because it's His finished works and faith that save us through Grace, not of works lest any man should boast.
It’s funny you should say this, because I recently, (like 3 days ago) realized that all my anxiety and fears, the pressure was me, my flesh, my mind, I get so caught up in what I think I should be doing, what I think or know I shouldn’t be doing, how disappointing I must be, the list goes on! I realized this past few days that I need to allow myself more space, to accept, to grieve, to heal, for stillness and silence, for breathing, without all this pressure, wether I think it’s external or internal, it’s mostly myself, trying to prove something to Him or them or me, I need to truly let go, feel and overcome some things, mostly the aftermath of my life, He brought me thru, I just simply followed, baby steps, I did none of this alone! And I have peace that He is with me even now… As I work thru my carnage and my carnality, what is left, I have to remember I’m not in control and I. Need to be still to have strength I need to be rooted in His awesome mercy and grace! Because He is not done with me yet, will I ever be ready? I don’t believe we are ever really ready, unless the circumstances arise (at least myself) I’m working on stepping out on my own and not having my hand forced, but I do speak up when I know I must, it’s the gentle persistence that I struggle with, the quiet questioning that I fear, it’s the is this me or is this His will? It seems the more I feel the urge, the more opposition I face, I use to think it was all external, but now I’m coming to realize its internal, it’s fear, anxiety, physical aversion… I have faced such severe adversity since I was born, from every angle, and when I finally bring myself to try to put it into words, on my own, I go blank, I get tongue tied, I am stumped… or I’m so exhausted, I have to wait another day, let it go,… I think if I could figure out how to use this platform, maybe I can begin… I’m good at conversation, relating, consoling, moving in certain situations, but it’s been so long if ever since I’ve been free to be, just me, if really ever… And there’s so much untouched, underneath the surface that I’ve yet to really allow myself to feel or fully express or describe that I get lost, or caught up in the ptsd, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make sense or I’m just sometimes afraid it will start again, not so much for myself but for certain individuals I care for around me… Anyway, I’m rambling now, but I’m sure you get the idea… thank you for your responses, I appreciate the encouragement, it’s a rare treasure right now, if ever, to know, I’m not alone on this physical plane… many berakiah
yea i relate to pretty much all of what you are saying. there are a lot of bible verses that get overlooked a lot especially by people who want to keep their congregation in fear to keep them coming back, and sadly the mainstream church system (woe to you scribes and pharisees) has turned people into twice the son of hell as themselves. the reason is the emphasis is placed on what we can do for "God", instead of what God has done for us and freely given us. I put God in quote there because that mentality isn't about God at all it's about self, self-salvation, self-redemption, self-help. its all about Self, i find it interesting that in my greek concordance, the word "I" = "ego" in greek.
It's not about cleaning the outside of the cup.
It's about the new man on the inside, that occurred as a result of metanoia.
Our outer man is decaying daily, but our inner man is growing newer and newer.
our , will and intellect and what drives us is God's Spirit upon receiving it, we are driven by God's law (in the spirit not the flesh, don't misunderstand me here its not at all about carnal "law keeping"), but our flesh is still corrupted from Adam/the knowledge of good and evil, that corruption makes it to where nothing good can come from us that doesn't have corrupted motivations, so all of it is null and void,. however, God's Spirit dwelling in us does miraculous and wonderful things, once we set our intention to that of loving your neighbor and just doing little things here and there, God turns those little things into huge things, because when we act from a place of love and completion, and not lack and fear, God does move through us if we rest in Him, it all comes from a place of rest. Now, you can still do good works from a place of incompletion, but the motivations will be corrupted because it will be as a means of gain.
Learn to rest first, and God will move you at His time. It's not "being a lazy christian" or a "license to sin" those are stupid little catch phrases that people just blindly repeat like a parrot lol and its kind of blasphemy, they hate God's grace because they don't think its fair that an alcoholic or drug addict can be in right standing with God in the midst of their struggles, they don't think it's fair because they "went to church their whole life" and fought against their own flesh for so many years, its really a miserable way to live because its based in religion and self-improvement (self, me me me) and not the bible...
this is the main reason people get so angry at God's actual grace. it's really quite telling of the human condition, we are such greedy spiteful creatures.
The new man on the inside is who you are, NOT this flesh prison that His Spirit resides in.
It's not about "what you can do for God"
It's about realizing what He has done for you, and pointing only to Him.
It's not about perfecting your performance (which, conceptually, is laughable at best, and unbiblical)
That inner man is conscious is our spirit, as it says in at the end of Romans 7 (i have to re-read this chapter all the time because i struggle in the flesh so much)
Rom 7:11 For Sin, getting an incentive through the precept, deludes me, and through it, kills me.
Rom 7:12 So that the law, indeed, is holy, and the precept holy and just and good.
Rom 7:13 Became good, then, death to me? May it not be coming to that! But Sin, that it may be appearing Sin, is producing death to me through good, that Sin may become an inordinate sinner through the precept.
Rom 7:14 For we are aware that the law is spiritual, yet I am fleshly, having been disposed of under Sin.
***Rom 7:15 For what I am effecting I know not, for not what I will, this I am putting into practice, but what I am hating, this I am doing.
***Rom 7:16 Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, I am conceding that the law is ideal.
***Rom 7:17 Yet now it is not longer I who am effecting it, but Sin making its home in me.
***Rom 7:18 For I am aware that good is not making its home in me (that is, in my flesh), for to will is lying beside me, yet to be effecting the ideal is not.
***Rom 7:19 For it is not the good that I will that I am doing, but the evil that I am not willing, this I am putting into practice.
***Rom 7:20 Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, it is not longer I who am effecting it, but Sin which is making its home in me.
***Rom 7:21 Consequently, I am finding the law that, at my willing to be doing the ideal, the evil is lying beside me.
***Rom 7:22 For I am gratified with the law of God as to the man within,
***Rom 7:23 yet I am observing a different law in my members, warring with the law of my mind, and leading me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
***Rom 7:24 A wretched man am I! What will rescue me out of this body of death? Grace!
***Rom 7:25 I thank God, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Consequently, then, I myself, with the mind, indeed, am slaving for God's law, yet with the flesh for Sin's law.
I really intended to word this in a much better way, but this is what ended up coming out haha. i think you will get the idea though, Paul's gospel really tells us the meat of walking in the Spirit in the Christian walk, and it's nothing like what the church system or pharisees have convinced us it is, it seems more like a combination of rest (faith), awareness/wisdom (spirit/revelation), humility (conscience),
faith and humility really are the glue that holds it all together, awareness comes in time especially if you pray for wisdom (be careful what you ask for though, with much wisdom comes much pain)
I know full and well what you mean! Don’t pray for patience or you will be given something to exercise patience in, hahaha, I’ve recently come to realize that all these trials and tribulations, many arduous ups and downs have honestly shaped me more for now than ever before, I thank for your correspondence, it’s been comforting! I haven’t endured as intense of an experience as of last few years, but I have noticed that I am more grounded in faith and even with an incident last night, I walked away, did not react or reciprocate, and as of recently in more personal settings, exercising no contact and absolute silence! The hardest part is wanting to ask questions I already know the answers to… praying for the other beings to come to have revelation and conviction and true salvation and change, and accepting my own anger, resentment and frustration at not just others who truly do not see the true condition of themselves, and at myself for allowing myself to be in certain positions I could have avoided had I just been still, but ultimately I can’t be too upset because I feel so refined and confident and self aware, I see the growth of my emotional intelligence and how my whole life and some of my most heartbreaking experiences at the hands of torture, addictions and injustice have brought me here! Yahuah has been glorified time and time again and I see it everyday! I’m alive to experience such a time as this, to really experience the fulfillment of my prayers, the mercy of His grace and to finally know what it means to “be still and know that He is Yah” all the fighting, all the pain, all the chaos turned to submission, peace and joy in the suffering! I can finally restrain from reacting to later respond, I may not be perfect, but I’m being perfected, not my hands, but His…
You are right, I need to rest, rest in that I am His and He is my Yahusha Ha Messiah, I am living the answers to all my prayers and have yet to see more of what He is to fulfill, and I am not afraid of the terror that flies by night, nor the pestilence that falls by day…
I agree and I totally relate to this, I'm thankful to hear this testimony, God is so good. Message me anytime, I'll do my best to be there for ya. It can be hard to sit still when being poked and prodded constantly by provocateurs, and it can be even harder to discern when anger is appropriate or not, because I think it can actually be emotionally damaging to refrain from anger when it would otherwise be righteously appropriate, I'm not an angry person at all, but what people have done and continue to do to me is infuriating. but it's like dealing with a ton of children who never developed themselves, and instead they hide behind authority and hivemind assimilations. I have much mercy for them, and I pray for them, but it gets tiring having to be strong all the time when very undeveloped and small minded people are around us trying to break us down. all the energy they spend trying to break us, couldve been spent healing the sickness within themselves, but so many are selfish and dont care how they affect the world around them. It's hard to process emotions in the midst of this kind of torture, what is genuine and what is induced by their theatre? though it's theatre, the emotions are real, it gets very tiring.
I salute you for not giving up and continuing to pay attention to yourself, it takes guts to not turn bitter and to continue to be willing to love your neighbor, even if they are plotting against you. I know how you feel in my own way. As emotional intelligence deepens and grows, so does our pain, and so does our empathy, which makes the situation that this world is in even more intense and overwhelming. I feel the pain of others that many spend much of their time repressing, hiding from, or numbing. I don't wish for any of them to perish, just as God, He wishes for all to come to repentance (metanoia/a change of mind)
In some ways, it gets harder the more emotionally intelligent you are, but I believe empaths are being given a glimpse of the love & pain that God feels, not because He needed us to feel it, because He trusted us with it. It's a blessing, and it makes me appreciate Yahuah so much more, because i can't imagine feeling all the pain/hatred/anger (etc) of every human being on earth at the same time and still be willing to love and die for them, because the little glimpse that He shows me feels like it nearly destroys me lol, God is awesome and He is so much stronger, gentle and mature than most people realize.
Psalms 138:8 Yahuah will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Yahuah, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
I’m trying to figure out how to post on here, because I feel it is a comfortable, relatively safe place to begin to share my experiences as they flow, with trauma blocks, and trauma mind, it is difficult to articulate events chronologically. However, I can begin to share bits and pieces, I’ve become more inspired and creatively expressive in my mind over the last few days, depending on the time of day, especially since I’ve been reading your posts and allowing myself to rest, my counselor is extremely interested and genuinely encouraging and we have kind of a personal connection thru one of my daughters friends, and having experienced some of the same kinds of human losses, both in our past, and recently. She actually has asked me some advice on how to help others that she was at a loss to help! Today she said that I was quite linear, and I was deep in a moment trying to stay focused on what I wanted to discuss and share and she explained that thru the whole hour, I was able to stay on topic while weaving thru many different webs of thought and circumstances and tie it into the very experience I had last night. I found that very complimentary because in my past I would easily get lost in a memory or moment of deep intensity and lose my point or expression of purpose as to how I trailed off. It means I can go deep into some of the most horrific brutal memories and still be able for the most part not get shaken or stuck there as easily as before. It may not always be that way, but I am remembering how to slowly extract some things that are deeply troubling, Yahusha has brought me so far, so far! And I have learned how to focus on positive thinking, and what to actively not quite ignore, but not give precedence too, what would in fact,usually-in the past be quite alarming and send me over the edge, cause an emotionally charged reaction, now is a minor discrepancy and I am able to shake it off, file it for later inspection and move on…
And yes, it’s heartbreaking to see this world as the father sees it, to see over grown children, for what they are… over grown insecure children, angry, hurt, afraid, hateful, genuinely confused and so deeply invested in the lies they tell themselves or allow themselves to take part in that they are in danger of never finding purity, or humility, and then there’s being fooled by some people who I thought were so close to me, the final lessons on covert, covert Machiavellian narcissist, both my current (4th&Final) husband, a young female former friend of mine who I mentored for 3-4 years, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg as of late! For every toxic person that is revealed from payers of scripture
Luke 8:17 that which is hidden be revealed or may the enemies of they own household be revealed…
Another is revealed and follows suit! It’s quite fascinating… Mindblowing, hurtful, even astonishing, but on that same note, I see change in those I had previously thought lost, or compassion where I had previously seen savage denial and even mal-intent… I have hope for salvation and reconciliation with my mother again, we are being brought together in a different way… it’s amazing…
Thank you I needed to hear this ..I'm targeted since 2019 I get voices 24/7 and it's always ugly things they say and skits they play out to disrupt my life but like you I've got in scripture and Christ carries me through my day to day he's king of kings and Lord of lords ❤️
For so very long, I’ve had the urge to share my experiences, when I was in the thick of it, there was no explanation! I was drugged out, crazy, no one listened, I was so alone! And I had walked away from Yahuah or so I thought! Since I’ve come back into His arms, it’s been speechless at times, supernatural at best, now I’m peaceful, still overly thinking, but peaceful, still very self critical, but for the most part still peaceful! Lately it’s the unbearable exhaustion, and mostly minor annoyances, a lot of frustration nation, but one realization I did just recently have was even if I was disobedient due to external influences before; I know now it’s because of my flesh, myself and my own flaws, fears and pressure! I get sick to my stomach if I try to casually step out on my own will in accordance to what I believe is His gentle persistence, it’s funny how I have no problem standing up or standing out when circumstances call for me to act! But when I think im ready to act on His prompting, I freeze and I am unable to move, I’m terrified, frozen or confused, concerned about something else, broken to pieces, I put myself back on the shelf! Dining with doubt, afraid to speak out… I need to reconnect to His will, His Ruach, give myself space… deeply reflect… find my way to pull thru, take that first baby step!!! Thank you for your courage!
thank you for sharing, i actually relate to all of this. one thing i've learned over a long period of trial and error is that "walking in the flesh" is not just our sinning. walking in the flesh is looking to the flesh for confirmation of whether or not you are saved, which leads to dead works of the flesh to try to reconcile yourself based on a false premise. i struggle with alot of things in my day-to-day walk, but none of those things have ever separated God from me, nor have they caused Him to stop fellowshipping with me. why is that? it's because I refuse to shrink back in condemnation. I sort of have learned to break it down into kind of like a very simple formula of where the separation comes from. it's really just this simple...
Condemnation is a lie - belief in that lie leads to shrinking back - shrinking back creates an artificial separation between you and God that was never there in the first place. its belief in the lie that creates the feeling of separation, just as Adam hid from God in the garden out of fear. the only reason that separation occurs is because of doubt, and walking in the flesh (looking to the flesh rather than His Spirit/Finished Works) -
its really hard to figure this out in this world, and it took me a long time of going in and out of religious programming and religious performance until finally i just couldnt do it anymore, when i reached and end of myself, when i had nothing left to provide, that's when God finally revealed this to me, and once I learned it I can look back to all of the many times where God has confirmed this to me in the past.
So just know, He never breaks fellowship with you, that's a religious lie that is unbiblical.
2 Timothy 2:13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.
It's always always always been about what He has done for us, how amazing He is...
it's not about what we are doing, it's about humility and knowing that He is who He says He is, it's about knowing that He has your back no matter how great or terrible your performance is... People always will want to act like this is a license to sin, but its blasphemy to call God's mercy and grace a licence to sin, all of us inherited sin from Adam, from the knowledge of good and evil, its hardwired into our flesh and our minds. We required a savior to reconcile us to God, because that hardwired corruption made us think God was mad at us and made man scared of God (which is why Adam hid from God) -
Metanoia is true biblical repentance, it means to change your mind (agree w/ God's testimony that you inherited sin from Adam and need a savior, and believing in Yahusha/Christ and His sacrifice/finished works to save us) once you Metanoia you receive the Ruach. We grieve the spirit by questioning if what He did was enough, which leads to dead works. But I have learned that true Spiritual Works only come from a place of rest, because the Spirit is what yields the fruit, it's not of our doing...
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
you've been sealed unto the day of redemption, Tetelestai it is finished.
the rest is relative. organized religion has done it's best to ruin such a perfect and simple truth and put believers into fear and religious bondage, and it sadly worked, because the religiously programmed will go off and start entire movements.
Matthew 23:15. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
So just do your best to rest in Him in confidence, religion has really messed up this simple truth, but even the bible points this out.
2 Corinthians 11:3
But I fear lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
I'm exhausted too, lately I have been quite carnal, but especially if you are TI you have to realize these are not ordinary circumstances we are in, this is covert mk ultra 2.0, cointelpro, zersetzung, and satanic ritual abuse mixed into one, so go easy on yourself,
God's got you no matter what your life looks like, because it's His finished works and faith that save us through Grace, not of works lest any man should boast.
Don't shrink back <3
It’s funny you should say this, because I recently, (like 3 days ago) realized that all my anxiety and fears, the pressure was me, my flesh, my mind, I get so caught up in what I think I should be doing, what I think or know I shouldn’t be doing, how disappointing I must be, the list goes on! I realized this past few days that I need to allow myself more space, to accept, to grieve, to heal, for stillness and silence, for breathing, without all this pressure, wether I think it’s external or internal, it’s mostly myself, trying to prove something to Him or them or me, I need to truly let go, feel and overcome some things, mostly the aftermath of my life, He brought me thru, I just simply followed, baby steps, I did none of this alone! And I have peace that He is with me even now… As I work thru my carnage and my carnality, what is left, I have to remember I’m not in control and I. Need to be still to have strength I need to be rooted in His awesome mercy and grace! Because He is not done with me yet, will I ever be ready? I don’t believe we are ever really ready, unless the circumstances arise (at least myself) I’m working on stepping out on my own and not having my hand forced, but I do speak up when I know I must, it’s the gentle persistence that I struggle with, the quiet questioning that I fear, it’s the is this me or is this His will? It seems the more I feel the urge, the more opposition I face, I use to think it was all external, but now I’m coming to realize its internal, it’s fear, anxiety, physical aversion… I have faced such severe adversity since I was born, from every angle, and when I finally bring myself to try to put it into words, on my own, I go blank, I get tongue tied, I am stumped… or I’m so exhausted, I have to wait another day, let it go,… I think if I could figure out how to use this platform, maybe I can begin… I’m good at conversation, relating, consoling, moving in certain situations, but it’s been so long if ever since I’ve been free to be, just me, if really ever… And there’s so much untouched, underneath the surface that I’ve yet to really allow myself to feel or fully express or describe that I get lost, or caught up in the ptsd, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make sense or I’m just sometimes afraid it will start again, not so much for myself but for certain individuals I care for around me… Anyway, I’m rambling now, but I’m sure you get the idea… thank you for your responses, I appreciate the encouragement, it’s a rare treasure right now, if ever, to know, I’m not alone on this physical plane… many berakiah
yea i relate to pretty much all of what you are saying. there are a lot of bible verses that get overlooked a lot especially by people who want to keep their congregation in fear to keep them coming back, and sadly the mainstream church system (woe to you scribes and pharisees) has turned people into twice the son of hell as themselves. the reason is the emphasis is placed on what we can do for "God", instead of what God has done for us and freely given us. I put God in quote there because that mentality isn't about God at all it's about self, self-salvation, self-redemption, self-help. its all about Self, i find it interesting that in my greek concordance, the word "I" = "ego" in greek.
It's not about cleaning the outside of the cup.
It's about the new man on the inside, that occurred as a result of metanoia.
Our outer man is decaying daily, but our inner man is growing newer and newer.
our , will and intellect and what drives us is God's Spirit upon receiving it, we are driven by God's law (in the spirit not the flesh, don't misunderstand me here its not at all about carnal "law keeping"), but our flesh is still corrupted from Adam/the knowledge of good and evil, that corruption makes it to where nothing good can come from us that doesn't have corrupted motivations, so all of it is null and void,. however, God's Spirit dwelling in us does miraculous and wonderful things, once we set our intention to that of loving your neighbor and just doing little things here and there, God turns those little things into huge things, because when we act from a place of love and completion, and not lack and fear, God does move through us if we rest in Him, it all comes from a place of rest. Now, you can still do good works from a place of incompletion, but the motivations will be corrupted because it will be as a means of gain.
Learn to rest first, and God will move you at His time. It's not "being a lazy christian" or a "license to sin" those are stupid little catch phrases that people just blindly repeat like a parrot lol and its kind of blasphemy, they hate God's grace because they don't think its fair that an alcoholic or drug addict can be in right standing with God in the midst of their struggles, they don't think it's fair because they "went to church their whole life" and fought against their own flesh for so many years, its really a miserable way to live because its based in religion and self-improvement (self, me me me) and not the bible...
this is the main reason people get so angry at God's actual grace. it's really quite telling of the human condition, we are such greedy spiteful creatures.
The new man on the inside is who you are, NOT this flesh prison that His Spirit resides in.
It's not about "what you can do for God"
It's about realizing what He has done for you, and pointing only to Him.
It's not about perfecting your performance (which, conceptually, is laughable at best, and unbiblical)
That inner man is conscious is our spirit, as it says in at the end of Romans 7 (i have to re-read this chapter all the time because i struggle in the flesh so much)
Rom 7:11 For Sin, getting an incentive through the precept, deludes me, and through it, kills me.
Rom 7:12 So that the law, indeed, is holy, and the precept holy and just and good.
Rom 7:13 Became good, then, death to me? May it not be coming to that! But Sin, that it may be appearing Sin, is producing death to me through good, that Sin may become an inordinate sinner through the precept.
Rom 7:14 For we are aware that the law is spiritual, yet I am fleshly, having been disposed of under Sin.
***Rom 7:15 For what I am effecting I know not, for not what I will, this I am putting into practice, but what I am hating, this I am doing.
***Rom 7:16 Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, I am conceding that the law is ideal.
***Rom 7:17 Yet now it is not longer I who am effecting it, but Sin making its home in me.
***Rom 7:18 For I am aware that good is not making its home in me (that is, in my flesh), for to will is lying beside me, yet to be effecting the ideal is not.
***Rom 7:19 For it is not the good that I will that I am doing, but the evil that I am not willing, this I am putting into practice.
***Rom 7:20 Now if what I am not willing, this I am doing, it is not longer I who am effecting it, but Sin which is making its home in me.
***Rom 7:21 Consequently, I am finding the law that, at my willing to be doing the ideal, the evil is lying beside me.
***Rom 7:22 For I am gratified with the law of God as to the man within,
***Rom 7:23 yet I am observing a different law in my members, warring with the law of my mind, and leading me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
***Rom 7:24 A wretched man am I! What will rescue me out of this body of death? Grace!
***Rom 7:25 I thank God, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Consequently, then, I myself, with the mind, indeed, am slaving for God's law, yet with the flesh for Sin's law.
I really intended to word this in a much better way, but this is what ended up coming out haha. i think you will get the idea though, Paul's gospel really tells us the meat of walking in the Spirit in the Christian walk, and it's nothing like what the church system or pharisees have convinced us it is, it seems more like a combination of rest (faith), awareness/wisdom (spirit/revelation), humility (conscience),
faith and humility really are the glue that holds it all together, awareness comes in time especially if you pray for wisdom (be careful what you ask for though, with much wisdom comes much pain)
I know full and well what you mean! Don’t pray for patience or you will be given something to exercise patience in, hahaha, I’ve recently come to realize that all these trials and tribulations, many arduous ups and downs have honestly shaped me more for now than ever before, I thank for your correspondence, it’s been comforting! I haven’t endured as intense of an experience as of last few years, but I have noticed that I am more grounded in faith and even with an incident last night, I walked away, did not react or reciprocate, and as of recently in more personal settings, exercising no contact and absolute silence! The hardest part is wanting to ask questions I already know the answers to… praying for the other beings to come to have revelation and conviction and true salvation and change, and accepting my own anger, resentment and frustration at not just others who truly do not see the true condition of themselves, and at myself for allowing myself to be in certain positions I could have avoided had I just been still, but ultimately I can’t be too upset because I feel so refined and confident and self aware, I see the growth of my emotional intelligence and how my whole life and some of my most heartbreaking experiences at the hands of torture, addictions and injustice have brought me here! Yahuah has been glorified time and time again and I see it everyday! I’m alive to experience such a time as this, to really experience the fulfillment of my prayers, the mercy of His grace and to finally know what it means to “be still and know that He is Yah” all the fighting, all the pain, all the chaos turned to submission, peace and joy in the suffering! I can finally restrain from reacting to later respond, I may not be perfect, but I’m being perfected, not my hands, but His…
You are right, I need to rest, rest in that I am His and He is my Yahusha Ha Messiah, I am living the answers to all my prayers and have yet to see more of what He is to fulfill, and I am not afraid of the terror that flies by night, nor the pestilence that falls by day…
Sit, crawl, stand, walk, run….
Baby steps, filled with wonder and joy!!!
I agree and I totally relate to this, I'm thankful to hear this testimony, God is so good. Message me anytime, I'll do my best to be there for ya. It can be hard to sit still when being poked and prodded constantly by provocateurs, and it can be even harder to discern when anger is appropriate or not, because I think it can actually be emotionally damaging to refrain from anger when it would otherwise be righteously appropriate, I'm not an angry person at all, but what people have done and continue to do to me is infuriating. but it's like dealing with a ton of children who never developed themselves, and instead they hide behind authority and hivemind assimilations. I have much mercy for them, and I pray for them, but it gets tiring having to be strong all the time when very undeveloped and small minded people are around us trying to break us down. all the energy they spend trying to break us, couldve been spent healing the sickness within themselves, but so many are selfish and dont care how they affect the world around them. It's hard to process emotions in the midst of this kind of torture, what is genuine and what is induced by their theatre? though it's theatre, the emotions are real, it gets very tiring.
I salute you for not giving up and continuing to pay attention to yourself, it takes guts to not turn bitter and to continue to be willing to love your neighbor, even if they are plotting against you. I know how you feel in my own way. As emotional intelligence deepens and grows, so does our pain, and so does our empathy, which makes the situation that this world is in even more intense and overwhelming. I feel the pain of others that many spend much of their time repressing, hiding from, or numbing. I don't wish for any of them to perish, just as God, He wishes for all to come to repentance (metanoia/a change of mind)
In some ways, it gets harder the more emotionally intelligent you are, but I believe empaths are being given a glimpse of the love & pain that God feels, not because He needed us to feel it, because He trusted us with it. It's a blessing, and it makes me appreciate Yahuah so much more, because i can't imagine feeling all the pain/hatred/anger (etc) of every human being on earth at the same time and still be willing to love and die for them, because the little glimpse that He shows me feels like it nearly destroys me lol, God is awesome and He is so much stronger, gentle and mature than most people realize.
Psalms 138:8 Yahuah will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Yahuah, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
I’m trying to figure out how to post on here, because I feel it is a comfortable, relatively safe place to begin to share my experiences as they flow, with trauma blocks, and trauma mind, it is difficult to articulate events chronologically. However, I can begin to share bits and pieces, I’ve become more inspired and creatively expressive in my mind over the last few days, depending on the time of day, especially since I’ve been reading your posts and allowing myself to rest, my counselor is extremely interested and genuinely encouraging and we have kind of a personal connection thru one of my daughters friends, and having experienced some of the same kinds of human losses, both in our past, and recently. She actually has asked me some advice on how to help others that she was at a loss to help! Today she said that I was quite linear, and I was deep in a moment trying to stay focused on what I wanted to discuss and share and she explained that thru the whole hour, I was able to stay on topic while weaving thru many different webs of thought and circumstances and tie it into the very experience I had last night. I found that very complimentary because in my past I would easily get lost in a memory or moment of deep intensity and lose my point or expression of purpose as to how I trailed off. It means I can go deep into some of the most horrific brutal memories and still be able for the most part not get shaken or stuck there as easily as before. It may not always be that way, but I am remembering how to slowly extract some things that are deeply troubling, Yahusha has brought me so far, so far! And I have learned how to focus on positive thinking, and what to actively not quite ignore, but not give precedence too, what would in fact,usually-in the past be quite alarming and send me over the edge, cause an emotionally charged reaction, now is a minor discrepancy and I am able to shake it off, file it for later inspection and move on…
And yes, it’s heartbreaking to see this world as the father sees it, to see over grown children, for what they are… over grown insecure children, angry, hurt, afraid, hateful, genuinely confused and so deeply invested in the lies they tell themselves or allow themselves to take part in that they are in danger of never finding purity, or humility, and then there’s being fooled by some people who I thought were so close to me, the final lessons on covert, covert Machiavellian narcissist, both my current (4th&Final) husband, a young female former friend of mine who I mentored for 3-4 years, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg as of late! For every toxic person that is revealed from payers of scripture
Luke 8:17 that which is hidden be revealed or may the enemies of they own household be revealed…
Another is revealed and follows suit! It’s quite fascinating… Mindblowing, hurtful, even astonishing, but on that same note, I see change in those I had previously thought lost, or compassion where I had previously seen savage denial and even mal-intent… I have hope for salvation and reconciliation with my mother again, we are being brought together in a different way… it’s amazing…
(Sorry, I think I trailed off)
Thank you I needed to hear this ..I'm targeted since 2019 I get voices 24/7 and it's always ugly things they say and skits they play out to disrupt my life but like you I've got in scripture and Christ carries me through my day to day he's king of kings and Lord of lords ❤️
Amen! Thank you! Blessings to you. 🙂🙏